Quite often it is very easy to lose "you" once you have children. Life becomes all about these little people you are now nuturing and teaching. It is the most satisfying jobs I have ever had, however it is extremely easy to lose yourself.
How do I balance life now being a mom? Good question.
First off, I expect a lot from my children. This is ok. I adore the baby phase. I cherish every moment because it goes so fast. However those sleepless nights are challenging on families. Not just us moms. I am blessed with children who sleep. Sleep is so very important to me. I began ensuring that we had regular routines were in place very early on.
Routine is key for me as a mom to balance daily life. I know personally if I wasn't so strict with routine my life would feel like chaos. I give parents credit that can fly by the seat of their pants. That doesn't work for our household at all. It's important for me to be present in raising my children, but having said that come dinner, bath, book, and bed, we are all done! I need a balance of kid time and adult time. I enjoy quiet evenings with my husband catching up on our days, or chatting about things we can't chat about in front of the kids. I have learned early on to stick with routine, if it's working don't fix it. However routine does need to be altered. For example, my kids start bedtime routine at 6 pm and my littlest was in bed by 6:30 and my oldest at 7:00. They would always sleep 12 hours however when they started getting up a little earlier each day I realised that they were growing and not needing as much sleep. So adjusting their routine is important. We found our oldest slept better when he went to bed at 8 pm. However the youngest we moved to 7 for a few months and then back to 6:30. Playing around with bedtimes is so important. Sometimes we feel it's too early to put them to bed however I've seen the other side where you miss that incredibly important window!
Me time! Now having said that I don't get much of it. Literally I just said to my husband "I hope you don't take for granted the ability to go to the washroom in peace". We have made the choice to homeschool our kids and I'm grateful for that choice. However that also does mean there is very little "me" time. I am ok with that. It's a choice I have made. However let me tell you, come Saturday morning........it's a little me time. Even if it's just the ability to have a relaxing shower and blow dry my hair in peace I take it. My husband looks forward to cooking big breakfasts with the kids on the weekend so while they go down to the kitchen I take a little "me" time. As well I am blessed with a very flexible job being a photographer and I include that in "me" time because I really feel it's my time to focus on something I am really passionate about.
We are also finding it important to spend one on one time with each of your children. This gives me balance as well. So it's not always total crazy (and yes we are adding a third child this summer so I expect crazy to be a way of life). It's really nice though to spend one on one time with your kids. As a mom it's rather rewarding to slow it down and give them ALL your attention. This doesn't have to be all the time however every once in a while its important.
When you need help.....ask! This is something that took me years to be able to do. If you ask my husband my favorite line has always been "I got this" We have a hilarious story of the birth of our second child where I literally looked at him and said "I GOT THIS!!" after delivering her and well.....let me tell you.....I didn't GOT THIS! Learning to accept help was a struggle for me however now it comes much more natural. We do work as a team and ask each other for help when we need it. This is really important.
Many mom's don't ask for help. So if you know a mom out there who you think really has it all together and doesn't need help try to do something nice for her. Whether it's taking her kids for an hour so she can go for a pedicure or even grocery shop in peace. Even dropping her off a coffee (let's face it the challenge of making and drinking a coffee before it gets cold is just that a challenge).
