It's been one month since I delivered our third child and am now just starting to feel less upset.  Both of my previous pregnancies and deliveries were fine.  This one however wasn't.

Now....let's rewind.  I had a GP during my pregnancy.  One who wouldn't listen to me.  One who didn't trust me.  One who I felt did not care.  Throughout my whole pregnancy I measured very large. I was not diabetic.  I just build big babies.  I have proof.  I have had two very large babies and super strong and healthy.  My first son was born at 37 weeks and was 8lbs 8 oz.  My water broke and 10 hours later he was in my arms.

I began to get antsy near the end of my pregnancy.  Growing larger and larger every minute.  I also knew that I had a wedding to shoot 1.5 weeks after my due date.  This shouldn't have been a stress to me if my newborn was going to come on time.  However my doctor kept telling me she couldn't induce or do anything until I was a week over due.  A WEEK OVERDUE!!!!  Did she want me to have a 12 lb baby?  Did she want me to have a c-section?  Did she want me to shoot a wedding 5 days after a supposed c-section.  I began to really start stressing, and was absolutely miserable.  I was referred to an OB who has the ability to induce.  I felt this was going to be my ticket to holding my baby sooner than later.  She was only willing to induce me at 39 weeks however I was willing to take whatever she would give me because I needed this giant baby to come out.  Many people warned me that being induced was way worse.  I had never gone through an induction.  Even the birth of my daughter they ended up just breaking my water and everything progressed very quickly.

Now the day had come.  We woke up and called the hospital and they advised us to come in that morning as they weren't too busy.  Yeah.  I was nervous but excited to be holding my baby soon and bringing him home for the other kids to see.  We got to the hospital at 8 am, where they changed their mind and sent us for lunch until they had a plan.  Slight disappointment had set in however my husband tried to keep me positive.  We went and had an adult meal (rarely do we ever get that) so figured we should take the opportunity.  They called us and we were back at the hospital at 12:30.  They then advised me that they were going to start an induction with Oxytocin.  This wasn't the plan. The plan was to just break my water and let my body do what it needed.  Turns out they weren't willing to do that anymore.  They wanted me hooked up to Oxytocin and have regular contractions before breaking my water.  I had already had 4 weeks of fake labour and regular contractions so I was not a fan of this plan.  My nurse was really good.  She understood my frustration so she tried to get my contractions going as hard and fast as possible.  Finally after I wasn't feeling what I needed, I begged and begged for them to break my water.  After 5 hours of contractions they finally agreed.  Then the moment they broke my water my body did what it needed to do.  The next contraction was insane!  Within 15 minutes I was 10 cm dilated.  Then the dr suggested I have a nap.  Sorry WHAT!!!!  I feel like I need to push.  They didn't want to listen to me even at that point.  Finally I kept saying "you need to check me because he's coming no matter what".  Not even 5 minutes later everyone was getting ready for me to push.  I decided I wanted to try pushing on my side from the beginning as that worked at the end of my delivery of my last baby.  The nurse laughed and said "sweetie you don't have time to roll onto your side this baby is nearly here you wont push long".  This actually gave me a sense of relief.


Then......things went crazy.



I began pushing and only a couple pushes and he was out.  Ahhhh.....time to relax.  No I was wrong.  When I felt him come out all of a sudden 20 people came rushing into the delivery room, people calling for NICU, and people yelling at me to PUSH.  I was so confused.  Why are they all panicking to get the placenta out....calm down people.  I didn't even know what was going on.  Everyone was yelling at me.  Then three nurses started jumping on my stomach.  The dr was doing her best but he was stuck.  He was stuck in my bones!  I had a birth plan.  They knew I wanted delayed cord clamping and skin to skin immediately.  After everyone jumping on my stomach finally his shoulders popped out.  They laid him on my chest.  That's when I looked at my husband in fear.  He was purple.  SO bruised.  He was not breathing.  They were trying to get him breathing but nothing was working.  So they immediately cut the cord and rushed him off to get him breathing.   After what felt like forever (a minute and a half) they put him back on my chest.  He was breathing.  He was pretty scary looking but he was ok.

They advised me that I had to stay as that was an awful delivery and they needed to monitor both baby and myself.  At this point I was so frustrated that nobody listened.  I was so frustrated that my baby was able to get as big 9lb 11oz at 39 weeks.  I feel the delivery went the way it did because I was left too long.  Could you even imagine 2 more weeks.  How big would he have been then?

I got home with baby the next day and I felt so sad.  Never had I thought I would have had an experience like that.  It took me a while to wrap my head around it.  It took me a while to smile again.  I cried a lot.  I was told to take it extremely easy.  This was the hardest part of the last month.  Having 2 other children and being an extremely busy mommy, how was I supposed to just sit.  This definately added to my mood.  I am not longer angry about it.  Just a reality that unfortunately goes on.  Whether its pregnancy or deliveries.....it happens all the time.  People need to advocate for themselves.