It's been one month since I delivered our third child and am now just starting to feel less upset.  Both of my previous pregnancies and deliveries were fine.  This one however wasn't.

Now....let's rewind.  I had a GP during my pregnancy.  One who wouldn't listen to me.  One who didn't trust me.  One who I felt did not care.  Throughout my whole pregnancy I measured very large. I was not diabetic.  I just build big babies.  I have proof.  I have had two very large babies and super strong and healthy.  My first son was born at 37 weeks and was 8lbs 8 oz.  My water broke and 10 hours later he was in my arms.

I began to get antsy near the end of my pregnancy.  Growing larger and larger every minute.  I also knew that I had a wedding to shoot 1.5 weeks after my due date.  This shouldn't have been a stress to me if my newborn was going to come on time.  However my doctor kept telling me she couldn't induce or do anything until I was a week over due.  A WEEK OVERDUE!!!!  Did she want me to have a 12 lb baby?  Did she want me to have a c-section?  Did she want me to shoot a wedding 5 days after a supposed c-section.  I began to really start stressing, and was absolutely miserable.  I was referred to an OB who has the ability to induce.  I felt this was going to be my ticket to holding my baby sooner than later.  She was only willing to induce me at 39 weeks however I was willing to take whatever she would give me because I needed this giant baby to come out.  Many people warned me that being induced was way worse.  I had never gone through an induction.  Even the birth of my daughter they ended up just breaking my water and everything progressed very quickly.

Now the day had come.  We woke up and called the hospital and they advised us to come in that morning as they weren't too busy.  Yeah.  I was nervous but excited to be holding my baby soon and bringing him home for the other kids to see.  We got to the hospital at 8 am, where they changed their mind and sent us for lunch until they had a plan.  Slight disappointment had set in however my husband tried to keep me positive.  We went and had an adult meal (rarely do we ever get that) so figured we should take the opportunity.  They called us and we were back at the hospital at 12:30.  They then advised me that they were going to start an induction with Oxytocin.  This wasn't the plan. The plan was to just break my water and let my body do what it needed.  Turns out they weren't willing to do that anymore.  They wanted me hooked up to Oxytocin and have regular contractions before breaking my water.  I had already had 4 weeks of fake labour and regular contractions so I was not a fan of this plan.  My nurse was really good.  She understood my frustration so she tried to get my contractions going as hard and fast as possible.  Finally after I wasn't feeling what I needed, I begged and begged for them to break my water.  After 5 hours of contractions they finally agreed.  Then the moment they broke my water my body did what it needed to do.  The next contraction was insane!  Within 15 minutes I was 10 cm dilated.  Then the dr suggested I have a nap.  Sorry WHAT!!!!  I feel like I need to push.  They didn't want to listen to me even at that point.  Finally I kept saying "you need to check me because he's coming no matter what".  Not even 5 minutes later everyone was getting ready for me to push.  I decided I wanted to try pushing on my side from the beginning as that worked at the end of my delivery of my last baby.  The nurse laughed and said "sweetie you don't have time to roll onto your side this baby is nearly here you wont push long".  This actually gave me a sense of relief.


Then......things went crazy.



I began pushing and only a couple pushes and he was out.  Ahhhh.....time to relax.  No I was wrong.  When I felt him come out all of a sudden 20 people came rushing into the delivery room, people calling for NICU, and people yelling at me to PUSH.  I was so confused.  Why are they all panicking to get the placenta out....calm down people.  I didn't even know what was going on.  Everyone was yelling at me.  Then three nurses started jumping on my stomach.  The dr was doing her best but he was stuck.  He was stuck in my bones!  I had a birth plan.  They knew I wanted delayed cord clamping and skin to skin immediately.  After everyone jumping on my stomach finally his shoulders popped out.  They laid him on my chest.  That's when I looked at my husband in fear.  He was purple.  SO bruised.  He was not breathing.  They were trying to get him breathing but nothing was working.  So they immediately cut the cord and rushed him off to get him breathing.   After what felt like forever (a minute and a half) they put him back on my chest.  He was breathing.  He was pretty scary looking but he was ok.

They advised me that I had to stay as that was an awful delivery and they needed to monitor both baby and myself.  At this point I was so frustrated that nobody listened.  I was so frustrated that my baby was able to get as big 9lb 11oz at 39 weeks.  I feel the delivery went the way it did because I was left too long.  Could you even imagine 2 more weeks.  How big would he have been then?

I got home with baby the next day and I felt so sad.  Never had I thought I would have had an experience like that.  It took me a while to wrap my head around it.  It took me a while to smile again.  I cried a lot.  I was told to take it extremely easy.  This was the hardest part of the last month.  Having 2 other children and being an extremely busy mommy, how was I supposed to just sit.  This definately added to my mood.  I am not longer angry about it.  Just a reality that unfortunately goes on.  Whether its pregnancy or deliveries.....it happens all the time.  People need to advocate for themselves.

I was so lucky to team up with Anchors & Arrows Baby Boutique to capture images of super cute kids wearing amazing custom clothing.  I had heard amazing things about her products when I lived back in Edmonton, AB.

I saw she too moved to Kelowna, BC and I figured this would be a great business relationship.  I sent her a message and we haven't looked back.  We both have a great client base in both Edmonton and Kelowna.

I'm hooked now.  If you haven't ordered anything from her yet you absolutely NEED to.  Her clothing is unique, quality, and made local.  What more could you ask for.  I've finally hit a point that when I order I don't order anything specific I just tell her to send me something, as I've come to learn I adore everything she makes and when given the choice I am what I would call "boring".

Caroline makes clothing from newborn to approx size 5.  Keep this in mind when ordering.  The quality is phenomenal and can be passed down through multiple children.  Whenever my kids are out and about people stop me asking where their clothes are from.  My only complaint is that she doesn't make adult clothes.

Anchors & Arrows has unlimited ideas just simply check out her never ending fabric album.  I have the pleasure of occassionally stopping by her home and checking out the room of fabric which is absolutely overwhelming to me.  I also make sure if I have a gift to buy I check out her ready to ship album as it's always being updated with fantastic new unique items.  Her list of items is unreal.  Rompers, hoodies, dresses, t-shirts and options galore to make your clothing completely custom such as vinyl, tassles, and patches.


I have found that having my children wear quality instead of quantity has saved us money in the long run along with fitting into our unique one of a kind family.  Now.....to begin ordering baby #3's wardrobe.  Eeeekk.

I am always on the hunt for gluten free dairy free baking that doesn't taste gluten and dairy free.  In our house it's always a test to pass it by the kids and my husband and have them not question it.  When my husband tried these he was sure they weren't gluten free.  YEAH WIN!!!  I ended up making everyone who eats gluten free to try these.  They are soft and chewy and absolutely addicting.  They hit the spot for this pregnant mama.

Enjoy!

Coconut Oatmeal Cookies

This is always a really tough subject to discuss.  I had always dreamt of being a mom,  it was something I always wanted.  Now it was really important for me from day one to be a very involved mom.  I never intended to add children into this world unless I was willing to do the work it took to raise them well.

Quite often it is very easy to lose "you" once you have children.  Life becomes all about these little people you are now nuturing and teaching.  It is the most satisfying jobs I have ever had, however it is extremely easy to lose yourself.

How do I balance life now being a mom?  Good question.

First off,  I expect a lot from my children.  This is ok.  I adore the baby phase.  I cherish every moment because it goes so fast.  However those sleepless nights are challenging on families.  Not just us moms.  I am blessed with children who sleep.  Sleep is so very important to me.  I began ensuring that we had regular routines were in place very early on.

Routine is key for me as a mom to balance daily life.  I know personally if I wasn't so strict with routine my life would feel like chaos.  I give parents credit that can fly by the seat of their pants.  That doesn't work for our household at all.  It's important for me to be present in raising my children, but having said that come dinner, bath, book, and bed, we are all done!  I need a balance of kid time and adult time.  I enjoy quiet evenings with my husband catching up on our days, or chatting about things we can't chat about in front of the kids.  I have learned early on to stick with routine, if it's working don't fix it.  However routine does need to be altered.  For example,  my kids start bedtime routine at 6 pm and my littlest was in bed by 6:30 and my oldest at 7:00.  They would always sleep 12 hours however when they started getting up a little earlier each day I realised that they were growing and not needing as much sleep.  So adjusting their routine is important.  We found our oldest slept better when he went to bed at 8 pm.  However the youngest we moved to 7 for a few months and then back to 6:30.  Playing around with bedtimes is so important.  Sometimes we feel it's too early to put them to bed however I've seen the other side where you miss that incredibly important window!

Me time!  Now having said that I don't get much of it.  Literally I just said to my husband "I hope you don't take for granted the ability to go to the washroom in peace".  We have made the choice to homeschool our kids and I'm grateful for that choice.  However that also does mean there is very little "me" time.  I am ok with that.  It's a choice I have made.  However let me tell you, come Saturday morning........it's a little me time.  Even if it's just the ability to have a relaxing shower and blow dry my hair in peace I take it.  My husband looks forward to cooking big breakfasts with the kids on the weekend so while they go down to the kitchen I take a little "me" time.  As well I am blessed with a very flexible job being a photographer and I include that in "me" time because I really feel it's my time to focus on something I am really passionate about.

We are also finding it important to spend one on one time with each of your children.  This gives me balance as well.  So it's not always total crazy (and yes we are adding a third child this summer so I expect crazy to be a way of life).  It's really nice though to spend one on one time with your kids.  As a mom it's rather rewarding to slow it down and give them ALL your attention.  This doesn't have to be all the time however every once in a while its important.

When you need help.....ask!  This is something that took me years to be able to do.  If you ask my husband my favorite line has always been "I got this"  We have a hilarious story of the birth of our second child where I literally looked at him and said "I GOT THIS!!" after delivering her and well.....let me tell you.....I didn't GOT THIS!  Learning to accept help was a struggle for me however now it comes much more natural.  We do work as a team and ask each other for help when we need it.  This is really important.

Many mom's don't ask for help.  So if you know a mom out there who you think really has it all together and doesn't need help try to do something nice for her.  Whether it's taking her kids for an hour so she can go for a pedicure or even grocery shop in peace.  Even dropping her off a coffee (let's face it the challenge of making and drinking a coffee before it gets cold is just that a challenge).

Different yes.......thankfully he is different.  I don't want him to be "normal" by todays standards.

Part of why we choose to homeschool is so they develop their own character not just conform.  When people meet my son it's never " oh he's socially awkward" or "that kid is definitely homeschooled "

However I do personally notice he's different from other kids.  I have no issue admitting this.  He is in many extra curricular activities not just activities with homeschooled children.

Here are a few reasons I can tell my kid is different.

1)  Confident - there is no question he does not lack confidence.  I feel this is something that can be destroyed unfortunately in the wrong situations.  I am able to nourish his confidence.  Continuing to build him up each day.  This doesn't mean I build his ego when it's not deserved.  I'm sure to tell him when something isn't done well.  However when he does accomplish something well I am sure to acknowledge it.  It doesn't go un-noticed.  This is preparing them to enter adulthood with the confidence to continue on that path.

2)  Social - This is where I always have a good laugh.  Many people have a typical stereotype that homeschool children are anti-social.  I actually find it's nearly opposite.  These kids interact with all different age groups so are able to adapt to most social settings.  I witnessed my kid leave one of his weekly classes saying "see you all next week!"  they all looked at him like he was odd.  WHAT.  It was odd that he was being kind.  Another mom leaned over and said "wow is he ever sweet".  I thought this was normal.  I guess not.

3)  Life Skills - Yes we are very focused on book smarts.  So before you judge we do focus on ensuring we cover all required curriculum if not extra.  However we also have time and energy to focus on life skills.  I didn't really notice this until I noticed my kids having manners.  This is something we drill into them every day.  However I couldn't imagine how challenging this would be if I only saw them a couple hours each evening and on weekends.  I don't even ask my son, but he ensures he holds open doors for people.  Some look at me in such awe because he's being kind.  However there are the odd people who look at me wondering why such a little man is holding open a door.


Now before anyone thinks I am biased that only homeschooling creates these differences please understand that is not what I am trying to get across.  I am just noting that I do see my child as different but I'm appreciative of different.

So the big day came for us to visit Sneak a Peek for our gender reveal ultrasound.  The whole family was so excited.  We discussed how it didn't matter whether it was a boy or girl, because we already had one of each.  I also explained to everyone we can't be disappointed if we wanted something different than what is growing in mommy's belly.

So I drank my big glass of orange juice and we headed into town.

Boy or Girl?  This is so exciting.  While some may feel they don't want to know and they love the surprise.  This is the best experience ever.  It makes us all feel so much closer to the baby.

When we got to Sneak a Peek we were greated by Carrie who is seriously AMAZING.  The kids were full of energy and very excited.  She took us into this beautiful room.  They had toys in the corner for if our daughter couldn't focus (she isn't 2 yet).

Now Carrie asked my son what he thought it was.  He replied "it's definately a boy".  I slightly cringed and explained we are excited with a boy or a girl.  Right?  She explained to him how he was going to be the first to see it.  She told him to look for a turtle for a boy, or a hamburger bun for a girl.  So darn cute.

Watching this baby move around and open it's mouth and wave to us is so emotional.  She then stopped on an image and asked our son what it was.  He looked hard.  "Is that a hamburger bun? A girl"  She showed him that it was a TURTLE.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

It's a BOY!!!!!!

Our son was right again.

Both dad and I cried.  It's what we were hoping for.

Then Carrie spent time showing us his heart beat and letting us watch him open his hands, feel his face, kick his feet, and show off his muscles.  This is by far a MUST for any expectant mom.

Mom's this truly is a one in a million experience and made us feel so much closer to our baby.

Sneak a Peek is by far the most incredible place EVER.

Call them.  Book and appointment.  I promise, you will leave wishing you had done it sooner.

Now before you all think this blog is going to bash men.  Please understand that is entirely not the case.  I'm wanting to show my appreciation for men who really STEP UP and try to be the best they can.

I feel like each week I have someone contacting me,  a lot of moms.  They are feeling like they are losing control of their life.  This makes me sad.  Don't get me wrong every day isn't going to be amazing however when you struggle that should be a once in a blue moon issue not a continual challenge.

This blog is probably going to take a turn towards supporting mothers.  Probably because I am a mother.  However this stands for all men.  Having made some major life mistakes with men when I was younger I now realise GREAT ONES do exist.

I appreciate so much the ones raised in not ideal situations but want to change that.  I see men raised in abusive situations yet they want to stop that cycle.  I see men raised with very little affection because they are boys, yet they realize that doesn't allow them to create healthy relationships.

I am blessed with an incredible husband.  My children are so very lucky to have an amazing father.  I have also learned over the years to expect that from him.  Ladies it is ok to expect amazing.  He works very hard to ensure I am able to stay at home raising and schooling our children.  I talk to other stay at home moms that feel they can't ever complain or say anything because their spouse is allowing them to stay at home and providing for them.  I love my husbands outlook on it.  When I say to him "love thank you for working so hard allowing me to stay at home" his response is always "oh my goodness thank you for choosing this for our family as I could never do it!".

My husband has a son to help teach how to be an amazing man.  Who will one day make an amazing husband and father.  He has a daughter to set the bar very high so she doesn't just settle when it comes to a relationship.

There is men who will sit on the couch and play video games all day rather than being present with their family.  This is downright ridiculous.  I've heard of husbands and fathers like this and it makes me sad.  If only they STEPPED UP!  Shut that game off.  Play with your children, take them for a walk, or even fold a load of laundry.  Just so you are aware your son is witnessing you not being present and for that reason is going to either struggle in his future relationships or have to make a decision because of what he has seen to not be anything like that.  Your daughter could settle......now really think about this.  Men, picture your daughter cooking, cleaning, and raising children with a man just sitting there watching her.  Is this what you want for her?  Wouldn't you much rather she expect more.

Sometimes it is habit, sometimes it's how they were raised, and other times they just are crappy men.  However regardless of what the excuse is there is always a time to change.

Ladies its also ok to communicate if you expect more.  Don't think that you have to sit back and just accept that they aren't giving you what you need.  Communication is very important.  It's something learned so why not start today by trying it.  Now before you start nagging....that's not the best approach.  Start simple by saying "honey I was hoping tonight we could do the dishes together after the kids go to bed and talk about us."  First off don't be disapointed if you don't get the reaction you are hoping for but don't give up.

So this is just a reminder to STEP UP!  Your relationships will improve.  Your children will see that.  The more people step up the better this world will be.  Children will be raised better.  Parents will be happier.  It's a lovely circle.